On Charisma

Charisma can be defined as “the ability to influence without logic or reason.” At first glance, this may seem counterintuitive, especially in a world that values rationality and persuasion. However, I believe this is absolutely correct, and understanding this definition of charisma can be a game-changer, especially for over-thinkers who struggle with the concept or question why it works so effectively.

Essentially, charisma (or general likeability) cannot be achieved through logic or argument. It’s not about proving to someone, with carefully constructed reasoning, why you are a great person or why they should feel drawn to you. You could present the most detailed, rational explanation of your qualities, but it’s unlikely to have any meaningful impact. The reason for this is that charisma doesn’t reside in the realm of logic, it’s grounded in something deeper and more instinctual: feeling.

At its core, charisma is about emotional resonance, not intellectual persuasion. It’s about creating an atmosphere where others feel good in your presence, often without even knowing why. When people describe someone as charismatic, they’re usually referring to an intangible quality—an energy, a presence, or an ability to make others feel seen, valued, and comfortable. This dynamic can’t be forced or reasoned into existence; it arises naturally from how you make others feel.

For over-thinkers, this can be liberating. There’s no need to convince anyone of your greatness or meticulously craft the perfect impression. In fact, trying too hard or overanalyzing every interaction can often have the opposite effect, making you come across as inauthentic or desperate. Instead, charisma flourishes when you shift the focus away from yourself and toward the shared moment you’re creating with others.

The secret lies in embracing simplicity. Instead of trying to persuade others or expecting anything in return, just focus on making the moment enjoyable for everyone involved. Whether it’s through humor, empathy, or genuine curiosity, aim to connect with others on an emotional level. Be present, show your authentic self, and allow your energy to flow naturally.